If you follow me on Instagram, you may have seen over the past year that I have been getting fertility treatment. After three unsuccessful IUI’s, I ended up doing IVF and an embryo transfer. While the transfer itself did work, I did end up miscarrying at the end of the first trimester. Hence, why you all haven’t heard from me in a while.
Infertility is something I never thought I’d have to go through. With having a clear health record, regular cycles, and trying to have kids at 25 – it was definitely not on my radar. The past 2.5 years have been filled with heartache, sorrow, and confusion. In this season that feels never ending, it’s so important that I stay busy and keep my mind occupied.
Today I wanted to share some ways to keep your mind and heart occupied during the season of waiting. And know that if you’re experiencing this, you are not alone.
1. Research For Later
While “researching” during infertility CAN be a slippery slope, I try to research useful topics rather than ones that will make me spiral. Next time you find yourself symptom researching or anything else unhelpful to your peace of mind, try some of these topics instead. These are items that you’ll want to know about when you God willing do have a child, and it doesn’t hurt to be prepared!
- How to invest for your child’s future (UGMA/Roth IRA accounts)
- Resorts to travel to that are baby-friendly
- Baby safety products such as strollers and carseats
While some topics may not be so glamorous, it’s better to dedicate your energy into helpful knowledge than sorrowful doom-scrolling.
2. Dive into Reading
I’ve never been the biggest reader. I’m not a person that typically reads for pleasure, but mainly for knowledge. There are countless baby/parenting/pregnancy books out there. And if those interest you, in my opinion it is never to early to pick them up! Here are some I’ve read and are on my list:
- Real Food for Fertility by Lily Nichols & Lisa Hendrickson-Jack
- Real Food for Pregnancy by Lily Nichols
- Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman
- Expecting Better by Emily Oster
3. Spend Time with God
As a Christian woman, trusting God and diving into my faith during this time has been crucial. It can be really easily to lose faith during this process, but I’ve learned the more time I spend with God the stronger my faith is, and the more peace I find. A few months ago when I finished my devotional book of the moment, I decided to find one that focused on infertility. This is the one I’ve been working through each night.
A more recent discovery for me has been the Manna App. This app is essentially Duolingo for the Bible. Some people aren’t the biggest fan of it, but so far I’ve been enjoying it! When I have the urge to pick up my phone and scroll, I head to this app and complete a few chapters.
4. Explore Your Passions
It’s no secret that once you become a parent that your life will look different and your priorities will shift. So now is a great time to explore your passions and hobbies that won’t take priority down the road. This could be something that you already know you love and enjoy, or you may be inspired to try something completely new!
For example, after my miscarriage I decided to try pilates as a form of exercise. When doing fertility treatment there is a lot of stop and go on what physical activity is allowed/encouraged. But pilates overall has been said to be a pretty safe bet. I’ve taken a few months of classes and really enjoyed myself!
Over the past year I’ve really explored my love for needlepoint. While it’s a hobby I’ve had since 2020, there were some seasons where I did it more or less. But last summer I started painting needlepoint canvases, while originally for myself others ended up being interested too. And now it’s an entire business, which has been so exciting!
So whether you’re exploring a new passion, or going back to an old one, it is time well spent.
5. Book The Trip
As someone who loves to travel and tends to do it often, fertility treatment has been especially difficult. Feeling the need to pause your life and “wait to get pregnant” is very real. Each trip we think of or plan the next thought is always, “well what if I’m pregnant?” It can be a hard habit to break, but it is important to do so! We never know how long or short this season of life could be, and you may just make yourself crazy stopping everything and waiting.
My advice is book the trip! Whether it’s for a long weekend or two weeks. Make sure it’s refundable if it makes it an easier pill for you to swallow. I promise you won’t regret having more memories like that with you and your spouse, friends, and family!
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I know this post was a bit different and vulnerable for me, but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless. Hopefully this helps at least one of you who may be in the same boat as I am at this time.
Thanks for reading,
xoxo
Jayme
Disclosure: This post may contain opportunities for me to earn compensation. If you click and make a purchase, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.
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