The cat is officially out of the bag – I’m pregnant and expecting our rainbow baby in October! These past few months have been filled with so many swirling thoughts; excitement, fear, anxiety, and everything in between. Pregnancy after loss can feel confusing. You’re so excited but guilt and fear easily creep in. But being almost halfway through my pregnancy now, I know I need to start soaking in every experience and opportunity – especially if I only get to do this once. So finally sharing a pregnancy announcement is the first step!
So here is what has been going on the past few months…
Finding Out
As many of you know, it took me a while to get pregnant. I had been getting fertility treatments for about a year – I started with my clinic in January 2025 and maybe at some point I’ll do a more comprehensive post about that experience. But long story short, I had gotten pregnant last October but we lost the baby at the end of November. So in the beginning of 2026 I started medication for a second embryo transfer.
So needless to say it wasn’t the traditional “taking-a-test-and-being-surprised” moment – which is one of the many things doing fertility treatments kind of forces you to grieve. Five days after my transfer I decided to take a test at home, I already felt that I was having symptoms comparable to my previous transfer that was successful. So I figured instead of waiting two days to wait for my blood pregnancy test at the clinic, why not test now? However, I realized this plan wasn’t fool proof – sometimes the pregnancy can’t be detected on an at-home test that early. So I knew whatever answer I got I was still going to wait for the medical professionals to give their two cents and not get too excited or disappointed.
I took the test super early in the morning, around 5am because I had woken up and had to pee. And if you’ve taken tests before you know the more “concentrated” the better – most tests suggest waiting 3-4 hours between bathroom breaks. So I waddled to the bathroom, got my supplies out, took the test, and waited… As I had predicted the test did have a line! I went back in to Grant who was still sleeping, and with fear in my voice said, “there’s a line…”
My Initial Feelings
I had a flood of emotions. But I will not lie, I was mainly scared and I cried. I am a very Type A person, and borderline pessimistic, so I knew I would have a long way to go until I felt comfortable and confident.
Two days later I went to the fertility clinic for my blood test, then I waited… Hours passed before we finally got a call from my nurse who unlike last time was more excited with these HCG results – I was already over 150. My previous transfer/pregnancy on that same day post transfer I was around 50, which is still positive. But what I didn’t know back then is a lower starting HCG can be a red flag. I had one more blood test a few days later to confirm my HCG was raising properly (~2x-3x in ~2-3 days) and mine exceeded that threshold – so I was good to go.
Sometimes I still get sad and even mad and feel that I haven’t had the full experience of trying to conceive and finding out I’m pregnant. But I try to remind myself this is still such a huge blessing regardless. I think IVF can be controversial and some even see it as such a sure thing. But let me assure you, it’s not. SOOOOO many things have to go right to get good embryos, let alone have it properly create a baby. At the end of the day I still see it as a miracle that can only be explained by an act of God.
How I’ve Been Feeling
My first few weeks of pregnancy I was very motivated to be productive. I knew that may not likely be the case very soon. And I was correct! Around week 6.5-7 I was down for the count. I had horrible nausea, and while I never threw up I’m truly shocked I didn’t. One of my biggest fears is throwing up, that was a major concern for me when trying to get pregnant. But thankfully my emetophobia saved me and didn’t allow me to actually vomit.
That being said my nausea was horrendous… I slept about 12 hours a day or more just to escape the feeling. I would consider myself to have a high pain/discomfort tolerance but the nausea was truly beyond for me. Every night I would just have to do deep breathing exercises while falling asleep so I wouldn’t get sick. Grant and I have always been pretty set on one child, but how sick I was/have been and for so much of my pregnancy I truly do not know if I could get through another pregnancy…
While my nausea is significantly better, even now at 18 weeks I am still nauseous most days. These days I can get through it without endless doses of B6 and my sea bands, but I am still taking half a unisom each night!
Symptoms
Other symptoms I have had include teeth sensitivity (week 4), round ligament pain (started early at week 5), and some exhaustion (not until 2nd trimester). Some of the typically unmentionables are the horrible gas and unfortunately for me diarrhea. Diarrhea is really common in IVF patients due to progesterone shots. My doctor also found that I had a UTI in my bloodwork around week 13. I was asymptomatic which I wasn’t aware is common in pregnancy. I did take amoxicillin for a week which really had me take a 180 on my nausea – I felt like I was back at week 8!
Overall, being a few weeks into my second trimester I am feeling more human. Traveling in my early pregnancy has helped me to feel better and help time pass a smidge faster!
Looking Ahead
While I originally wasn’t even going to share I was pregnant until 20 weeks, my husband really encouraged me to start enjoying every moment! It’s so easy to get locked into fear and anxiety at times like this. But, it is so important to be joyful. If I only get to do this once I want to have no regrets of how I’ve spent my time and energy.
I can’t wait to share more with you all throughout my pregnancy and navigating being a first-time mom. And thank you for your support already with my pregnancy announcement. But don’t worry, my travel and fashion content will always be the core of what I do! In the short term though things may just look a little different and be a little slow coming.
Stay tuned for nursery renovations, hauls, reviews, and more! And be sure to follow me on Instagram for more updates.
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Thank you for being here!
xoxo
Jayme
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